Misadventures in BishieLand
by Satanira
Summary: Twin cousins Beki and Stephanie are sucked into the BishWorld and become trainers there. Will Beki catch a Nuriko or a Tasuki? Why is a Quatre following Stephanie? Is there a Boondock Saints territory? Rated for language, violence, and adult humor.


**Misadventures in Bishieland**

Chapter 1 – Let the Chaos Begin

* * *

Beki blinked at Stephanie. Stephanie blinked at Beki. Beki blinked at Stephanie.

So on and so forth.

"I gotta say," Beki said finally, turning to blink at her surroundings instead of her cousin, "This is the weirdest thing to ever happen to me after I signed up for something."

"Indeed," Stephanie agreed, climbing off Beki's lap and dusting her clothing off. "Where are we?"

"I don't know," Beki said, following suit. "Unless that site wasn't your usual online community, and we just got sucked into the computer,"

"Kinda like Digimon?"

"Kinda like Digimon,"

"Does that make us Digidestined?" Stephanie asked hopefully.

"Probably not," Beki said, and Stephanie sighed. "Well, we're not finding anything out standing here," She added after a moment's pause. "Let's get walking,"

"Walking where?" Stephanie asked, hurrying to catch up with her cousin as the blonde put action to words and started walking away.

"Dunno," Beki answered with a shrug. "But with this kind of manga, you've gotta walk until you find the handsome hero, who'll clue you in on the storyline and protect you from bad guys. And until I find out otherwise, I'm going to assume that we're in a manga."

"Okay, Wise One," Stephanie said sarcastically. "Lead on,"

"Thank you, I will,"

* * *

According to Beki's watch, they'd only been walking for about ten minutes before they found a native.

At least, they assumed he was a native. His hair was long and black and attractively disarranged, and his clothing was unlike anything you'd come across on the streets of Chesapeake, Virginia.

"Handsome hero?" Stephanie asked hopefully.

"He certainly looks like Izark," Beki said doubtfully. "You know, from From Far Away? But he's already got a pretty heroine, and this doesn't look much like his world,"

"True," Stephanie agreed. "I say we ask him for directions anyway,"

"Okay," Beki said, striding out into the open. "Oi! Izark-sama!"

Izark – or the Izark clone – turned around to look at her, and Beki grinned.

"Konnichiwa, Izark-sama," She said. "I'm lost. Where are we?"

"In the woods west of Dirgus City," Izark said.

"I'll take that to mean we're not in Kansas anymore," Beki said. "Could it be this isn't a manga, but a fanfic?"

"Weren't you paying attention to the site?" Izark asked.

"Well, of course I was!" Beki exclaimed. "I just forgot every single last thing it said.

"So, how does one get to Dirgus from here, if one is easily lost and terrible at following directions?" She asked, smiling sweetly up at Izark, who was every bit as tall as he'd appeared in From Far Away.

* * *

"Woooooowww…" Beki breathed, staring up at the huge letters spelling ORIENTATION on the roof. "That was probably incredibly expensive, as signs go."

"At least people are guaranteed to not miss it," Stephanie said, not nearly as impressed as Beki. "Can we go in? I'm hot,"

"And I'm cold," Beki shot back. "And they probably have the AC on, and I'm not wearing a shirt."

Stephanie sighed and dragged her shirtless cousin inside by the back of her sports bra. Sometimes, Beki was so like an anime character that the comparison was scary.

"I knew it!" Beki exclaimed as soon as the door opened and a blast of air-conditioned atmosphere smacked her in the back. "I knew the AC was on! I'm freezing!"

"Here," An unfamiliar voice said, and somebody handed Beki a jacket.

"Arigato," Beki said, worming out of Stephanie's grasp and into the jacket's warm embrace. "Mmmm… toasty," She smiled up at the stranger. "Thanks a… lot…" Her smile faltered, turning to an expression of wonder, and her jaw dropped.

Before her stood perhaps the most gorgeous being in the known universe.

She wasn't tall, but she _seemed_ tall. Her hair was dusty brown and brushed her elbows, falling in a thick, silky curtain over her shoulders and into her deep, piercing hazel eyes. Her complexion was a creamy bronze, and her slightly puzzled smile was perfect.

"Dearest Goddess, it's a Mary Sue," Beki said faintly. "This really _must_ be a fanfic,"

The vision of pure human beauty laughed lightly, covering her perfect mouth with a perfectly delicate hand.

"Are you here for Orientation?" She asked in a soft, musical voice.

Beki could only nod dumbly as Stephanie shook her head in exasperation.

"I'm Izabella, the Orientation instructor this week," Izabella introduced herself. "We're ready to start now, so why don't you two come with me?"

* * *

Beki managed to shake herself into some semblance of coherent thought by the time Izabella got them to Orientation. Mary Sues could do that to a girl sometimes.

There were ten other teenagers of various ages, genders, and ethnic origins waiting for them in what looked like a miniature college lecture hall. Four were guys, and the remaining six were girls.

One of the boys was very obviously Asian, dressed in a style that called to Beki's mind Wufei, from Gundam Wing, and a bit of a DragonBall Z character. He was completely bald. He sat in the back by himself, eyes closed, apparently meditating.

Another boy was an incredibly cute redhead with lots of freckles, all bone and baggy clothes. He looked kind of awkward, but he seemed completely at ease, laughing with another of the boys and one of the girls.

The boy talking to the redhead was black, built like a brick wall. He was shirtless, wearing only baggy black jeans and white and blue striped boxers. He kept glancing around nervously, as if expecting one or all of them to suddenly transform into hideous monsters.

The last boy was a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with vivid black eyes. Most of the girls were clustered around him like background canons around an ExchangeStu.

The girl talking to the boy was petite, with long, dark hair, bronze skin, and dark eyes. She reminded Beki of her ex-stepfather, a Pakistani named Farhan. She waved cheerfully at Beki and Stephanie without interrupting her conversation.

The gaggle of girls around the ExchangeStu consisted of a striking blonde, a plain but obviously rich brunette, two girls with raven's-wing black hair, and a redhead that could be Freckle-face's svelte twin sister.

Izabella strode gracefully to the front of the room and cleared her throat, calling to herself the focus of everyone present.

"Now that everyone scheduled to arrive today is here, I'd like to get started." Izabella smiled as everyone scrambled for seats. "First, it is my pleasure to welcome you all to the Bishworld. I'm not sure how much any of you actually read of the site, so I'll take it from the basics."

A large dry-erase board hung on the wall behind Izabella, and she went to it. She wrote in large, beautiful script, **Bishworld**. Underneath, she added **Trainers** and **Bishies**. The area under **Trainers** she left blank. Under **Bishies**, she listed **Chibi**, **San**, and **Sama**.

"The Bishworld," Izabella informed them, "is at its core an online community with a magical kick-start. It is akin to the Digital World of Digimon, with a bit of Pokemon tossed in, in the form of Bishies. Bishies – Bishonen or Bishojo, depending on the gender of the Bish in question – are modeled after characters of many media outlets, including anime, manga, novels, and comic books. There used to be a small number of Bishies based on TV show and movie characters, but they died out quite some time ago.

"Bishies come in three levels – Chibi, San, and Sama. What is contained within each level of evolution is dependent almost entirely on the character in question. Take, for example, Edward Elric of FullMetal Alchemist. A Chibi Edward is the child Edward seen in both the anime and the manga. When the Chibi evolves into a San, he receives an auto-mail arm and leg and gains the ability to perform alchemy without a transmutation circle. Upon reaching Sama level, he no longer has auto-mail limbs, but retains his alchemical abilities."

Beki glanced around and saw that most of the girls were baffled by this explanation. Maybe they, like good, unimaginative sheep, stuck to shojo anime and manga.

"Izabella-sensei!" She interrupted, raising her hand. "What about Sailor Moon?"

Izabella smiled. "Tsukino Usagi, the title heroine of Sailor Moon, begins life as a Chibi with absolutely no special abilities. When she reaches San level, she gains the power to become Sailor Moon. Throughout her time as a San level Bishojo, she will master the other incarnations of Sailor Moon found throughout the anime and manga, including but not limited to Neo-Queen Serenity, Eternal Sailor Moon, and Princess Serenity. Upon achieving Sailor Cosmos, Usagi will become Sama level."

The faces of shojo-lovers across the room cleared, and Beki sat back with a satisfied smile. "Thank you, Izabella-sensei,"

"Your welcome," Izabella smiled back. "Are there any further questions pertaining to levels?" Nobody raised their hand. "Okay, then, I have one last thing to tell you before we move on to the next subject. It is illegal to capture a Chibi without full consent from its parents. If you capture a Chibi illegally, once the Chibi has been returned to its family, you will be sent back to the real world without the option of ever returning.

"Our next subject will be-"

"Excuse me!" Freckle-face said, raising his hand. "'Ow exactly does it work, our being here? Did we go missing from the real world?" He had a heavy Irish accent that very nearly sent Beki into a swoon.

"No, you're still in the real world," Izabella said. "The 'you' that's in the Bishworld is kind of a copy of the real 'you,' separate but connected." She frowned, trying to find a way to explain. "Like a clone, but not exactly."

Beki nodded to herself, marveling at how complicated the programming for this place must be, but most of the other kids didn't seem to get it. It _was_ a difficult concept to wrap your mind around, especially if you weren't used to thinking outside the box, much less reality.

The Pakistani-looking girl, who was sitting behind Beki, leaned forward and tapped her shoulder.

"Do you understand this?" She asked with a Middle Eastern accent. "Because I am confused,"

"I think so," Beki answered softly, watching Izabella struggle through her explanation. "It's kind of like copying computer files, I guess."

"Izabella, this girl can explain it!" The Middle Easterner called, pointing at Beki.

"Hey!" Beki exclaimed. "You can't just go-" But Izabella was looking so relieved that Beki caved. "Okay, fine, I'll give it a shot, but only if I get to write on the board." Izabella nodded, and Beki jumped out of her seat and ran to the front of the small room.

The dry-erase board was huge, and the whole area under **Trainers** was empty, so Beki positioned herself there. She chose a marker and drew two large rectangles on the board, labeling one **Realworld** and the other **Bishworld**. In the **Realworld** box, she drew a smaller box and labeled it **Me.png**.

"Assume that the image file **Me.png** represents you," She said in a lecturing tone. "The folder **Realworld** represents the real world. Now, assume that once you sign up for the site, the folder **Bishworld** is automatically created on your universal desktop, and the file **Me.png** is automatically copied there." She paused to draw the appropriate thumbnail and filename in **Bishworld**. "You now have two files- **Realworld/Me.png** and **Bishworld/Me.png**. Any changes made to **Realworld/Me.png** don't affect **Bishworld/Me.png**, and vice versa. My guess is that upon leaving the Bishworld, either **Bishworld/Me.png** is deleted, or it's moved back to **Realworld** and overwrites **Realworld/Me.png**. Right, Izabella-sensei?"

"To use your explanation, if the removal is voluntary, the file is overwritten. If a trainer is forced out of the Bishworld, then the file is deleted."

Beki grinned and bowed, running back to her seat.

"Continue with your lesson, Izabella-sensei,"

* * *

Beki, still wearing her sports bra and Izabella's jacket, stretched and sighed contentedly.

She had herself a whole new wardrobe far better suited to travel than the shirtless, shoeless state she'd arrived in. She had a shiny steel chain at her waist, from which hung a row of silver-and-black Bishballs, as well as her Bishdex. She was wearing a pair of brand-new, top-notch steel-toed work boots and comfy socks. She had a bag full of capsules in the shoulder bag they'd given her. She had a handy map of the BishWorld.

She had herself a goal.

"Okay, here's what we'll do." Beki said, laying the map flat on the ground so she and Stephanie could both look at it. "I know for a fact you want to bee-line for Fushigi Yuugi territory; I'm not an idiot. But from there, where do you want to go?"

"Here," Stephanie said, tracing a tight arc through Ayashi no Ceres and MARS to Red River territory.

"I thought so." Beki said. "And my plan's the same, up to here," She pointed at Ayashi no Ceres. "But after that, I want to head this way." She outlined a twisting route that would put her through territories for Chobits, Saiyuki, Sailor Moon, Dragon Knights, and Sorcerer Hunters. "I say we stick together up to Ceres, then split up. Would you mind that?"

"I guess not, since we can always call each other," Stephanie said, fingering her own baby blue-and-white Bishdex. "Or e-mail each other. And we'll still capture our first Bishies together, right?"

"Right," Beki agreed with a grin. "I can't decide if I should aim for Tasuki or Nuriko, though. Or maybe Yui. I just don't know…"

"Decide on the way," Stephanie shrugged, rolling up the map and handing it to Beki. "It's gonna take a while to walk there."

* * *

_Ta-da! My obligatory silly Bishfic! I am totally accepting requests to join; just review with the name of your character, the names and fandoms of your character's Bishies, and a bit of background/personality info on your character. I warn you, though, this is just gonna keep getting sillier._


End file.
